I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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