i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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