yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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