Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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