i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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