Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
