I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize