I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
