Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
