Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
