new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
