This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
