just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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