You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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