I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
