Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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