Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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