You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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