I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
