I want to make a zoo with you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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