I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize