I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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