Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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