I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
