Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
