I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize