We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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