He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize