drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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