Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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