The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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