After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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