your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
