I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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