We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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