he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Randomize
