Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Randomize
