they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
