Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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