It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
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This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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