What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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