she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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