I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
40s are totally the cure
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize