I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
FUCK WHALES
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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