i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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