What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
