Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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