I will die if light touches me.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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