i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
