Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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