Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
