why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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