Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
