just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
