I think my vagina is haunted
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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