Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
