I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
