Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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